Amicable divorce: oxymoron or opportunity? Amicable divorces are possible. However, an amicable divorce does not mean that both parties will get exactly what they want or that partners will be best friends in the end. Issues and tension might still exist between the two parties. However, an amicable divorce allows the process to be a bit different. For example, mediation, collaborative or cooperative divorce allow couples to reach a mutually beneficial agreement that will honor both partners, and if applicable, will always put the children’s needs first.
Expectations for the Couple
The definition of amicable is “having a spirit of friendliness, without serious disagreement or rancor.” The spirit of friendliness is key. An amicable divorce means a civil divorce, where both spouses agree to property division, spousal and child support, visitation, and custody. Spouses should enter an agreement reasonably, without litigation. Instead, an amicable divorce involves negotiating.The benefits include fewer court visits, less trauma on the children, reduced legal costs and a quicker resolution. An amicable divorce intends to avoid drawn-out battles, drained bank accounts and angry exes.
Choosing an amicable divorce is exactly that — a choice. And even spouses who agree on getting a divorce may not agree on specific issues. The best way to ensure that you’re going to have an amicable divorce is to choose to behave respectfully and calmly. It’s also a good way to persuade an unconvinced spouse that an amicable divorce will be better for both of you. Making a list of the reasons you want an amicable divorce can help you stay committed to a more peaceful process. Some examples might be:
- You want to save money and avoid excess spending on fighting
- You want to protect your children from conflict
- You’d like to avoid testifying in court
- You’ll be co-parenting with your ex in the future and want that relationship to go smoothly
- You want to focus on your personal goals after the divorce
This last point is key. In an amicable divorce, no one goes in with the intention of “winning”. Both parties can “win” if it means they can move on to the next chapter in their lives. Keeping their eyes on the big picture — closing this chapter and opening the next with as little pain and drama as possible-is the goal.
The Role of your Lawyer in a Collaborative Divorce
A union between you and your spouse is ending, and that is stressful. Due to the emotional nature of divorce, although you may begin the process agreeing on every issue, it may not stay that way. People change their minds, become angry, decide they want more, or decide they want to reconcile. Your divorce attorney will be there to handle all of these issues. More importantly, your lawyer will know the law and how “fair and equitable” is defined and can help move negotiations forward.
Choose a lawyer with care, someone who is trustworthy and has the best intentions of their client. Choosing not to hire an attorney might result in endless paperwork and honest mistakes. An attorney can help the process go smoothly. They are familiar with the law and will ensure that important issues don’t slip through the cracks and cause long-term problems. A good lawyer will be able to take all of your assets into account, handle all paperwork with care, and get you on your way to the next chapter of your life.
Please call or email us at 866-566-9494 or Assistant@clcounsel.com if you have any questions about amicable divorce.